I’ve just come home from spending 4 days in the Southern California mountains in a retreat with 12 other incredible leaders. I went in with trepidation knowing I would have a choice to step into this space of vulnerability and visibility.
You see. I’ve always been the strong one. The resilient one. The one that bounces back. The one that doesn’t cry.
My claim to fame is my adaptability.
When life zigged, I zagged with apparent ease.
At least, that’s what I wanted you to think.
As I went into this retreat I knew that I would be different on the other side. I knew that I needed to be different on the other side.
I knew that for me to step into this next level of my life and business, I was going to have to bust down some walls and show you who I really am.
There is a part of me that I’ve never wanted anyone to see.
I never wanted to show the cracks in my walls.
I was afraid of being judged.
I was ashamed.
I didn’t think I was worthy.
I’d forgotten how to love myself.
I didn’t know what you would think about all of my failures.
I want to be seen and understood. Loved and accepted.
But I did’t want you to see me.
I did’t want you to see the hurts, the shame, the judgments, the weight of this burden that I have carried around.
Would you love me less?
Would you avoid me?
Would my vulnerability make you uncomfortable?
Would you shame me?
Would you judge me even more?
I was afraid of your rejection.
I was hiding behind my fear.
“What will people think of me?”
That is one fucking powerful question that holds so many of us back.
So, here I am in all of my glory; hurts, scars, failures, warts and all.
Do you see me?
I see you.
That’s what we all really want and need, right?
To be seen.
To be understood.
To be loved.
AS WE ARE.
As I step into this next iteration of myself. My highest self. I am showing up for me. I honor all of me. I love me. I will care for my heart and my soul first.
Because that is true love.
I see me.
I see you.
You get to choose.
I get to choose.
I choose me.
What do you choose?
How will you show up?
Will you choose to walk away from the fears that have held you back?
Walk with me down this path.
Acknowledge your fears.
Face off with them.
Release the shame.
Release the guilt.
Release the judgment.
It only holds us back.
Release it all with me.
Let’s link arms.
Let’s step into more love.
For that is where we grow.
This former version of myself that played small is no longer. I am stepping into this new space ready to fulfill my vision, mission and purpose.
I will not let me failures or fear stop me.
I am bigger than they are.
Will you join me?
To change this world, we can no longer play small or BE small. We are strongest when we do the inner work. When we dive deep. When we crack our hearts wide open. When we take responsibility. When we release all the shit that has held us back.
*Side note – I encourage you to follow and connect with Ruby Fremon on all the social channels. Attending her Activation Retreat was one of the best decisions of my life. I don’t say that lightly and I don’t promote very many people or their work. I deeply trust the work that Ruby creates and you will not regret connecting and working with her.