Earlier this spring, I decided that I was going to do a road trip for 6 weeks or so. I had a client event that I needed to drive to, so I started planning out a journey around the event. It was going to be amazing. I knew I was going to move out of my apartment, so it seemed the perfect opportunity to feed my wanderlust and work. Plus, I planned to see friends and family along the way. Total win-win.
My intuition kicked in on a very specific piece of my journey, so I verified, double and triple checked that piece. Let’s just say my intuition was right like it always is.
They say if you want to hear God laugh, tell him your plans.
This was no laughing matter.
My trip imploded from day 1, hour 2.
It didn’t take long for my plans to go to hell in a hand basket.
So, what do you do when it feels like the whole world is falling around you?
At least that’s what I do.
I shifted and redirected.
I faced the storm head on…
And I lived to tell about.
“What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”, they say.
I feel stronger.
I feel more powerful.
I feel more raw.
I’m more open.
The next 3 weeks were a tumultuous ride.
Storm clouds and sunshine.
Ups and downs.
Peaks and valleys.
Physically, emotionally, mentally, financially.
I’ve been pulled and tried and tested at every turn.
I haven’t made it out unscathed, but I made it through.
Leaning into the depth of pain.
Learning my strengths.
Owning my power.
Honoring my loss.
Accepting that I will never know the whole truth.
Even in this moment, I am still processing.
I am still shedding the hurts, doubts and questions.
I’m seeing myself in another light.
I’m giving myself grace.
Loving myself instead of judging.
As I type this, I am 24 hours away from this road trip ending. Yesterday, I drove 8 hours across the vast Nevada desert.
Area 51 is all quiet in case you were curious
As I drove across the vastness, I experienced my entire journey throughout the day and I reflected on the journey in every aspect.
I’ve crested 9,000 foot mountains and been on top of the world.
I’ve driven below sea level and experienced the dry, arid landscape.
I’ve driven through Monsoons and come out the other side to glorious sunshine.
I’ve driven through Death Valley, literally.
I’ve made friends, lost what I though was love, explored new opportunities for intimacy, received an outpouring of love from family and friends along the way.
I cried tears of angst and pain.
Been pissed off as fuck.
Shown up for myself and others.
Hid out and hibernated..
Recharged, rested and rejuvenated my heart, soul, mind and body.
Allowed creativity to come through.
Laughed so hard I cried.
Snuggled with all the fur babies.
Slept in and stayed up late.
Nourished every part of my life with goodness.
And forgave some more.
And had to forgive even more.
Life is this incredible journey and we get to choose how we show up to it.
It’s full of crazy storms that come flying across our path
It’s also full of sunny, calm, lay on the beach kind of days.
It’s perfectly imperfect.
And we get to choose how we move through each moment.
We get to recognize how and why everything comes shows up in our lives.
What we are attracting and calling in.
I don’t know if I have failed or passed this test.
Is this even a pass or fail moment?
What I know is that I faced the challenges.
I see me.
I honor me.
I love me.
I forgive me.
And now, no one’s gonna fuck with me.
While this journey may be ending, the lessons are still being integrated.
The moments and experiences will continue to teach me about how to BE.
About how to show up.
I want to learn these lessons this one time please.
A repeat is not necessary.
I want to encourage you to travel.
To journey beyond your borders and limits.
Get outside your comfort zone.
Challenge your own status quo.
Face the storms of life.
Embrace the journey in all of it’s peaks and valleys.
It’s scary as fuck.
It’s empowering as fuck too.